The Sweetest Taboo
Discussing a topic deemed societal taboo due to discomforts surrounding human sexuality.
Statement of Disclosure: Out of respect for the privacy of the individual interviewed, the name in the following anecdote has been changed.
It was on the back seat of a white Jeep Cherokee on a rainy summer night when a partner she felt very comfortable with showed Jamie something she didn’t think her body capable of. She was 17 when she commenced an oft overlooked rite of passage toward womanhood. And it was all due to her sexual partner-at-the-time’s patience and undeterred commitment to orally stimulating her till her mind and body were given no choice but surrender. It was a release of any and all residual tension they were futilely trying to hold onto. Sade crooned sweet melodies interspersed with the drumming of rain against the hood of the car for what felt like an eternity. She was held a voluntary hostage during that same length (which was actually only about 30 minutes) without complaint. And was rewarded for her cooperation with a level of unfettered sexual satisfaction she had never imagined possible.
Oh, I’ll just come out with it: she came! Yepp. You read that right. I’m talking about fluids emanating from female genitalia. Getting off. Squirting. Climaxing. And every other title it’s been granted yet under the sun.
Female ejaculation still remains an almost untouchable topic of taboo. As if it isn’t happening in bedrooms across New York’s expanse of high-rise apartment buildings right now or hasn’t been happening in remote villages across the globe for hundreds of thousands of years. Pornography featuring any activity even alluding to female ejaculation has actually been banned in the UK since 2014, though male British porn stars continue to shoot sperm rockets into the sky like a spectacle on the 4th of July. But, thanks to the ignition fueling current movements towards women’s empowerment, the female race is now much more privy to speaking up about its sexual disinheritance than ever before. Combating such opposition against their bodies just as, if not more, stalwartly than any misogynistic warfare that has ever been waged in centuries past. Because not doing so poses tremendous threat to women’s health, both physical and mental, and hindrance to their overall fulfillment.
The term female semen has made prevalent appearances in the writings of the father of modern day medicine and the Kama Sutra. Hippocrates thought it possibly aided in the creation of children, while the ancient text curated with every couple’s intimate indulgence in mind contains an in-depth description of when it should be expected and why. Recent studies estimate the sensation of squirting to be experienced to some degree by between 10-54% of modern-day women. While the fluids compositing the erotic cocktail are still being hotly contested because the thought of even a drop of urine being present seems to make people impossibly squeamish.
Although there’s a wide varietal range between the percentages of 10 and 54, the previously mentioned statistic does prove that women can cum, too. The broad discrepancy may reveal how little even women know about their own bodies’ capabilities due to lack of access to sound research on the subject of female sexuality. What constitutes a female orgasm is still under cross-examination to this day. But, I believe that many women are unaware of ejaculation as a sexual potential for a handful of reasons:
1) when you feel like you’re about to cum, it holds the same sensation as peeing (so you hold back to avoid potentially peeing, but you also hold back your potential)
2) you’re not being stimulated in all the right places enough in order to reach this new climactic height
3) you’re afraid or not comfortable enough with your partner to fully let go in order to experience this tremendous release (which is probably preventing you from having better sex all around
4) you’re the inherently controlling or anxiety-ridden type and, again, have a hard time letting go in general, which includes during bedroom trysts
Women actually have a tendency to hold more tension in their shoulders as a result of carrying the hypothetical weight of the world. We are still learning how to occasionally take the load off our backs. Maybe the same can be said of our vulvas. We may be restricting our full sexual expression in favor of remaining in a perceived state of control. Like an unconscious self-inhibition: inhibition being the feeling that makes one self-conscious and unable to act in a relaxed and natural manner. Psychologically speaking, it’s the involuntary restraint on the direct expression of an instinct. And it only serves as an obstruction to the full spectrum of our individual expression, which includes the sexual component of a very multi-faceted self.
When a man physically cums, he releases all of the pent up pressure being applied to both his internal and external worlds; all of the tension inhabiting his physical body and stress occupying his mental and emotional states. It is an epic release following an even greater build up. And don’t get me wrong, an orgasm or six is always nice. But, ejaculation can be the occasional icing on the cake…if we let it.
We learned our multiplication tables by grueling repetition. So for the sake of reinforcement, female ejaculation exists. It deserves to not only be acknowledged without contempt, but recognized as another one of many physical potencies of the female body. And it may contribute to the exploration of female sexuality – both its prowess and liberation – being one of, if not the, sweetest modern-day taboos. If we let it. Much more open dialogue between women, men and women, partners, and lovers and quite a degree of vulnerability will be required to truly begin the work of breaking down the stigmatic barriers to women’s satisfaction in the sack and the subtle carryover effect this has on the possession of a greater sense of fulfillment in everyday life. Did I forget to mention that this piece contained graphic language?
